Of Sea Turtles and Patience

I love wildlife, and sea turtles are some of my favorites. We've been to a few of the sunrise baby sea turtle releases on the Texas Gulf Coast, where we join dozens of other early risers to gather round, and watch the little ones scurry along as they are released into the sea as part of conservation efforts. I've seen documentaries about female sea turtles lumbering ashore to patiently dig there sandy nests, lay their eggs, and slowly, persistently, cover them with sand. They are still swift in the water, but not so much on land.

If my daughter R had a spirit animal, it would be a sea turtle. When she was little, she was like the baby turtles, faster and heading for water. As she has grown up, her pace has slowed to an extreme. If I could get her into a pool, I think she would become a swimmer again. She learned to swim at age 4. It always freed her somewhat from the limitations of cerebral palsy. She was a different girl in water.

She is very slow all the time now. She can't help it. In fact she needs a walker full time, and tends toward losing her balance when she has to move briefly away from it. Her neurologist has told us we may continue to see a decline because of the particular neurological issues she has. In fact he thinks she may eventually need a wheelchair. She has no interest in swimming. I've tried. We joined a YMCA for awhile hoping she would get interested again, but she didn't.

Slowness has always been a particular issue in her adult life. At her group home, getting ready to go to the dayhab center has often been something I would get calls about, with the transport van having to wait on her and people getting impatient. I know how it is. I get impatient too. Now that we are at home together again, I am having to re-learn how to cope with my impatience, when she takes forever in the bathroom, especially. We don't have to go anywhere often now thankfully, but there was a tele-visit with the doctor yesterday, and I had to hurry her along to get her through lunch and situated in front of the computer. Luckily we made it on time.

It doesn't help for me to stand around, waiting for her, getting more and more stressed. It never has helped her to go any faster to do that. What does seem to help me is chores and projects. In other words, my whole day cannot be hovering around her waiting for her to get done with whatever I want her to do. I have to be busy doing other things. I'm getting a little better at determining what I can do during the wait times - while she is deciding what she wants for breakfast or lunch, while she is showering, brushing her teeth, while she is getting her laundry, getting things to fix her hair or just getting herself up from a chair. I can't just stand around waiting. So I keep myself occupied, and let her go at her own pace. It's the only way to keep my cool.

Some day I hope to persuade her to swim again.